Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
