I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
