whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
