i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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