im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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