she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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