He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
send nudes
from the living room?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
