id be glad to
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The chlamydia really affected his face.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
