so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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