I faked an abortion last night.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
