I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
