You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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