She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
