Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
