Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
