do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
