Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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