You work out of a Hotel?
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
