do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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