I can text with my tongue
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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