i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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