She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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