What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
