Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
