hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
