i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
