I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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