This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
