i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
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