Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize