If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he was CRYING into my vagina
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
