"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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