he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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