we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
