the new term for farting is butt boxing.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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