i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
