is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
