Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
