My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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