I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I will be naked everywhere
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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