I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Boobs speak an international language.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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