she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
