We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
