it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
