some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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