I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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