The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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