can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
