maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
