There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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