You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
