I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
