I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize