I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
they need to just BURY HIM!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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