She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
It's blow job season.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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