I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
