after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
