Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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