I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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