plz talk dirty to me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
