R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
