I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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