Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
